Orange ammunition!

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition (that is - in the little orange bottle)! **********************************************************************************

Mama started to feel an 'episode' coming on yesterday afternoon and although she is my mama and was reluctant to do so, she finally decided popping those little pills were better than the stabbing pain she has grown un-accustomed to.

We had a concert to go to and she really wanted to go, so she took her nausea medicine about 30 minutes before I came to get her and then took a pain pill as I was picking her up. While it didn't probably work as nicely as the injection of morphine, for a pill it at least took the painful edge off.

She never did need to vomit and after a second dose was able to sleep well thru the night. It's just another lesson in this chapter we have now learned. The medicine works to prevent the pain! Yeah!

Mama News...

Mama, Papa & I went to meet with her surgeon today. I was thrilled at the prospect of finally LEARNING something, but she quickly reminded me that we may NOT learn a thing. Ugh. I hadn't thought of that. She could be right. It could be a meeting where he says, "I don't have enough information to tell you anything...let's meet again in 'x' amount of time."

I decided that would be worse than ANYTHING he could deliver otherwise.

Fortunately for us, he was full of information. He began by just talking thru one of the test's results...the HIAA-5...positive: Carcinoid. Then when prompted he left and came back with his laptop which delightfully connected us to the scans Mama had been having. The 3 CTs from Easter weekend along with the newest Octreotide scan. Mama said it best: that tumor lit up like a full moon on a pitch-black night. Now we know...it glows!

While that's not the BEST news, it is a result either way. We now know pretty definitively that her tumor has the name 'Carcinoid'. We also now know that surgery will be May 6th. We are fairly certain that the Carcinoid is in a lymph node/gland and if that comes to be true then we know Chemotherapy will be next on the treatment path.

Mama didn't want to have Chemo, but when Dr Surgeon says that without chemo it's a more devastating result...Chemo doesn't sound so bad. Icky...but better that than letting the Carcinoid 'win'.

We remain in good spirits. So much to process. Emotionally, spiritually, physically, financially, and other ways we have yet to discover. It will certainly be a path of education. One I wouldn't have taken voluntarily...but this is the path that lies before us and we will boldly walk it until we're past it, arm-in-arm, heads held as high as possible and spirits soaring on the faith we bear. The Lord is my Refuge...in Him will I trust!

Believe it!

Oh, my precious, darling, sweet, innocent 5 year old decided to take matters into her own hands and (mind you the scissors were in hand) cut her own hair! I know! I couldn't believe it and yet when I stopped and thought about it...yes, I could.

She told her Granma Bear, "...and I'm not even sorry." Well! When I came to pick her up (already knowing the story) I just looked at her all wrapped in Granma's arms. She said before I could speak..."I know, you're mad."

The child had no remourse and part of me is so proud of her unwavering stance (right or wrong) regardless of the pressure she got to 'feel' a certain way. She announced that the kids at school "won't even know me! They'll think there's a new kid at school!" She was so proud of this thought!

It's not as bad as it could be and it certainly was to be expected from this darling child...but none-the-less was a shock to my system to have it a reality. Ugh.

Will she glow or will we know?

Finally an update to report! I'm so excited! Today Mama got injected with some radio-active stuff and tomorrow we'll find out if she (or rather, the tumor) will glow or not. She's in the process of a test called Octriotide. The substance in her veins will only attach to Carcinoid tumors...so if she (or rather, the tumor) glows under the scan then it's a Carcinoid. If not, it's not a Carcinoid. Simple as that.

Mama did find out that the test she did last week that was supposed to measure ?? something in her urine had to go to the Mayo Clinic to be tested, so those results won't be back for a while.

The appointment with the surgeon will be Thursday, hopefully it will all come together then and we will know the path she will take to rid herself of this tumor. As with other troubles in life, "This, too, shall pass." (Personally, I can't wait to be on the other side of this experience. I'm sure she feels the same and I wonder what all we'll learn thru it.)

Time Lost...

An awful lot has happened since the last time I posted to this blog. My Sissy turned 5 (sorry, I'll have to add pix later) and most recently my mother was found to have a tumor. I know! A tumor is a big, UGLY word. I'm not scared, tho.

This chapter of the story began when Mama was so sick she couldn't watch the girls Wed, Apr 8th. My mama doesn't get sick and yet it came to mind that in the last several months she'd been sick (incapacitated) more often than I remember her EVER being sick. Odd. And as always, she got well nearly as fast as she got sick. Sure enough by Thursday it was like nothing ever happened.

Well, when the episode hit again Friday night at 9pm and lasted thru the night into early Saturday morning we all knew the inevitable. She had to seek medical attention. She spent an agonizing day scooting from one office to another, giving her whole life story to every new face she saw and by 7pm that night she was finally admitted to the hospital. 3 CT scans and an unknown number of doctors consulting together over them finally brought the conclusion that there was, indeed, a tumor at the source of all this.

Unfortunately this all happened on Easter weekend. So, the girls went to see their Granma in the hospital on Easter morning and that's where we praised the Lord for his Risen Son.

Over a week later and we still don't know what kind of tumor, what treatment options or when the surgery will be to remove the ugly tumor. But we do know that God is good - all the time and that His Will will be done and we'll all get thru it by his grace and with his mercy.

For those who read this Sonata of my Soul my need of you is: PRAYER.

Our strength will probably wane over then next few weeks but our faith never will.

Year end to present

My darling Missy turned 9 today! I can't believe it's even possible that she can be this age. She announced the other day that she's half-way to 18. Ugh. Not what a mother wants to think about.

We tried to make it a very special day for her. This morning she got up and opened her bday card. In the card was a note inviting her to make her pick (of 3) restaurants to eat breakfast at. She picked the local Country Club. Then while she was opening her gift (an outfit: white long sleeved shirt with sequenced ice skate, red 'silk' skirt and plaid tights) at the bottom of the box was a note announcing that we were going ice skating today. She was soooo excited!

At breakfast she was given another note asking if she wanted to get her ears pierced today. Oh...that took her back. She said she was going to have to think about that one! And she did. She thought and thought about it then suddenly announced that she wanted to go for it. (We had even told her she could wait until next weekend so she could think about it all week before she did something she didn't want to do.) She was so cute. She got pink gemstone flowers.

After the piercings she got to go with the family ice skating. A new experience for all of us. So much fun! Mommy went too fast and Missy fell (once) and wouldn't you know it, Mommy got in more trouble for getting that pretty red skirt wet with ice than the fact that she fell. :)

Upon getting home for her cake/ice cream party she got to enjoy the company of lots of loving family members and be the receipent of lots of wonderful gifts and love. She was so excited. We ended the gift time with her last surprise...a brand new bike! She was soooo surprised! She announced to one Papa Beard that this bike was wayyyy better than the bike he got for her out of the dump. (ha!)

I think this was a very full day of lots of excitement and fun for us all. Sissy can hardly wait to have a day alllll about HER! (One month and counting!)

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Christmas was a wonderful time this year. We had lots of fun with lots of family and we didn't even have too much of a loss of income. (Less presents to buy was a huge blessing for us!) The girls delighted in seeing their Grandma B from Missouri and their Uncle, Aunt & Cousin from NV as well as the 'regular' blessings...the grandmas, grandpas, aunts and uncles.

Halloween, haunts and hooligans...

******************************************The girls had a great time dressing for Halloween. Not having the money to spend on the fancy $35 Walmart quality costumes, nor the desire to dress my precious darlings as hustlers - we opted to be creative this year (perhaps the beginning of a tradition). Missy chose to be 'cat-girl' having her face decorated by a class-mate while Sissy decided she'd be Super Piggy! (Her mind goes places even mine doesn't!) They both had a great time. We enjoyed them and they enjoyed the holiday. **** As a matter-of-fact, they're still enjoying the holiday. Last night I found Sissy sitting at the kitchen table with the bowl of Halloween candy in front of her and wrappers of candy surrounded her bowl. She confessed this morning that she was trying to make 'toot-sweets' like she'd just seen on Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang (the movie). What she was successful in making was a super sugar high child! Fortunately she doesn't have school on Tuesdays, so she was able to sleep off her indulge!